The purpose of this blog is simply to clear my head so that I can go on with my day to day life.
Part 1
Published on March 15, 2008 By emily711 In Parenting

My husband, Ray, and I are expecting our first child in 3 months, and just like any expectant mother, my mind has been full of all the natural concerns.  Am I ready?  Will I be a good mom?  Will I be able to save my kid if she chokes on a penny?  Will I know how to respond when things don’t go as I imagine?  Yes, those are all the natural concerns that all parents face, but what’s eating at me most goes beyond these age old questions.

My mind all started getting clogged up after debating the virtue of daycare vs. staying home with my child.  Advocates of day care say that their children have developed faster because they are with other children their age and that that social setting is a breeding ground for development.  They say that the child care providers are experts and will know how to promote growth and learning better than I could.

At first, my only response to this was "Well, I want to be the one to raise my baby.  I want to see her grow and be there for all those milestones."  After all, kids do grow up so fast.  She’s not even out of the womb yet and I’m already dreading the day that she gets embarrassed to be hugged by me.  So I want to capture every moment I can before then.

Now that I’m getting closer to the due date and after listening to current events, my concerns about day care are becoming much deeper than simply wanting to hold on to every moment I can with my little one.  Frankly, I’m petrified.

I’m petrified by our society in general.  I’m not talking about just the nuts that go and shoot up schools and malls.  Of course the randomness of those acts are terrifying, but it’s not that which has my mind all clogged up right now.  What scares me most is that it seems as though our general population has lost their morals and values.  So, I’m afraid that in putting my little Marilyn into day care, though she may learn to tie her shoes, to count to 10 and identify the various parts of her body faster and have better social skills, I am petrified that I will not transmit to her my value system.  To me, that is far more important than her being able to write her name before she’s even in Kindergarten.  Heck, she’s going to get there eventually.  She’s not going to go for long without being able to point to her head.  Why does it matter if she does that a month or even a year before these other more advanced children.  Will that be a factor in determining her success in her aspirations?  But on the other hand, can I count on her care providers to transmit my morals and values to her?  We have so little time in which to teach our children these things.  How could I possibly sacrifice that precious time to give her this essential foundation just so that she can name her colors a little earlier?

I know that teaching values is not limited to the first few years but those first years are so formative to a child’s foundation that they can not be ignored.


Comments
on Mar 16, 2008

My wife stays at home with our 14 month old triplets. I have no doubt that the progress they have made is directly a product of having a stable environment and maintaining a schedule. They were born at 31 weeks 5 days. They were just a little over 2 months early. From the beginning our doctors let us know that we should be developmentally behind by that same time.

My children are only behind in size and while they have the skills to walk, they really don't care to yet. We were not supposed to be caught up until they were 2. I have no doubt that keeping children home is a great thing for them.

Also, You have the added stress of additional illnesses and taking time off of work to attend to your sick child. You can get the same social interaction. Set up a play group or look for a local mom’s organization. If you need some mommy time you can look for a mom’s day out program. They are usually a couple of days a week.

Daycare is expensive (especially for us). It was really easy to look at how many hours my wife would have to work just to cover the cost. My kids are far better off with her home.

on Mar 17, 2008

Yeah, considering that you have triplets, that one's an easy decision to make.  Here a quality daycare costs around $850/mo per child.  Maybe a small discount for each additional child, but still way too expensive.

on Mar 18, 2008

$850/mo per child

For that price they better be pouring in the knowledge through their ears while my kids take naps.

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